"David and Jonathan", 1642, by Rembrandt.
1 Samuel 20:41-42 - And as soon as the boy had gone, David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most. 42 Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’” And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.
I suppose it is possible, if you have never undergone great suffering, that you might not understand this scene.
First of all, you must seek to understand David's heart. It was young, trusting, eager, fearless, and deeply committed to God. David was a musician, and deeply loved. Likely for his ability to communicate this deep emotion.
He then finds himself used of God to slay the giant Goliath, and his life heads into a furious whirlwind. All the world is enamored with David, including King Saul. Then Saul's favor turns to fiercely bitter jealousy, and suddenly David is about to become a fugitive for many, many years. For 10 years Saul will hunt him like a dog.
Imagine, used of God as giant killer one day, and now God would school him in the school of suffering, bitter suffering, for 10 years!
Why does God do this? Have you ever been there? Do you even believe that it is God who does this?
Paul tells us. In fact, he tells us in perhaps the most oft quoted verse of those who are struggling. The great problem is that we don't memorize the very next verses, to our great misfortune.
Romans 8:28-29 - And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
I don't like it. In fact, I still have not wrapped my mind completely around it, but God uses suffering in his school. If we look at the life of Christ, we clearly see a suffering servant.
For the next 10 years, unbeknown to David, he is going to enter God's sovereign school of suffering.
I have been there, it is greatly unpleasant. Let me say it again, it is greatly unpleasant!
But, perhaps this is the only way that we, or some of us anyway, can finally reach the end of ourselves, lay off layer after layer of pride, and begin to see things through a different understanding.
Some, with perhaps far deeper faith than I, consider it great joy to be in such a place. Paul for instance. I hear those words, but am currently not in a place to utter them. I understand those words, I understand the learning that comes through this fire, but I am not yet to the place where I can honestly say I consider it joy.
If I am honest, although there was great learning, I have not found great joy. I have received a few tastes of the honey, I long for more tastes, but I wouldn't currently call it joy.
Did that make any sense to you?