A Boomer in the Pew

Andrew Murray's "Waiting on God" (Day 2)

This post is part of my 31 day journey through Andrew Murray's devotional treatise, "Waiting on God".  You can find my reasons for this journey at this link.

Genesis 49:18 - I wait for your salvation, O Lord.

From Andrew Murray:

"Our heart is the scene of a divine operation more wonderful than creation.  We can do as little towards the work as towards creating the world, except as God works in us to will and to do.  God only asks of us to yield, to consent, to wait upon Him, and He will do it all.  Let us meditate and be still, until we see how appropriate and right and blessed it is that God alone do all, and our soul will of itself sink down in deep humility to say:  "I have waited for Your salvation, O Lord."  And the deep, blessed background of all our praying and working will be, "Truly my soul waits upon God."

As I think about this, it occurs to me that there exists still, a battle of wills.  I have come to the point where I understand that I need heart surgery.  Furthermore, I have placed my faith in the Great Heart Surgeon.

The problem is, while my heart is open, I continually say, "give me those scalpels, I can do this myself".

When I consider yielding, and humility, again, I intellectually assent.  But, I find myself in a constant battle. 

Just this morning I was considering the relationship one must have under the relationship of a sovereign.  I found myself recoiling at the idea.  I am an American.  A rugged individualist.  I control my destiny.  I am the captain of my ship.  The little boy in me, once again seeking to show my scoffing father.  "I'll show you dad, I am worthy of your blessing!"

Give ME those scalpels God....I can do it.

Where is the balance?  I have no idea what it means to wait upon God.  Some say, "God helps those who help themselves."

If I find the ability to more, and more yield, and submit...then what does that look like? 

I feel like I have spent the last three years seeking God, yet my life feels like a great running in place.

Must I hide in caves in for 10 years as David?  Is my pride so great that I need to eat grass like Nebuchadnezzar for 7 years?  Is Job's providence mine?

Abba, I have no idea what it means to wait upon you!

Here....you take back the scalpels. 

My soul, hear me, wait upon God!

Note to self:  waiting upon God is not selfishly tapping your toes waiting for Santa Claus to do your bidding.  No, dear proud man, waiting upon God requires first true yielding, and humility.

My soul, hear me, wait upon God!

I was once an Orphan

This photograph is a fairly good representation of a great deal of my life.  Sitting alone, in nature, wondering what life was all about.

I spent a great part of my life pursuing that which might fill a massive hunger in my soul.  I suppose this hunger was even more profound being raised with my father proclaiming, "children are to be seen, but not heard".

I was lonely, and felt very much like an orphan, as it pertains to feeling deeply loved.

I believed in God from a very early age.  I became a Christian as a young boy.  But to be honest, I never really, with all my intention, put any effort into knowing God.  I bounced around and let those around me, and my culture, define my view of God.

It was not until I reached the age of 51, that I put any serious intention into knowing who God is.  I am not proud of that.  Late bloomer, I guess.  Nonetheless, I have spent untold hours studying the Bible in the last year.  A great deal of that is recorded in this blog.

This morning, I was doing my annual reading through my ESV Study Bible, when I came across Galatians 4:1-7, and was reminded, once again, of my adoption, and subsequent inheritance.

Here is a very brief overview of my understanding:

• Before creation, God (three persons in one) existed in perfect relationship with himself. 
• God the Father, loved the Son, and created all that is, as a gift to the Son.
• At creation, man came into being, and God walked with man, in a face to face relationship.
• For some reason (a mystery for now) the Fall happens, sin enters, death enters, and we are now born eternally estranged from God.  Born in the image of God, yet orphans, in a spiritual sense.  Fatherless children.
• From this point, God set in motion a plan of reconciliation.  This whole plan is recorded in the Bible, is difficult to grasp, but begins with the Law, then the Law is fulfilled with Christ's death on the cross, and we wait for the plan's completion with Christ's second coming.
• God's reconciliation is accomplished by calling his elect to himself.  In other words, spiritually speaking, we all lived in orphanages, but God walks in and chooses us.  Individually, in fact!  Mind boggling!
• Somehow this election, this choosing of God, also requires action on our part.  We are required to repent (to turn away) from our former life apart from God, place our faith in Him, and thereby become sons of God!  I spent about 4 months studying this particular doctrine.  It really is incomprehensible to the natural mind.  It requires faith.
• If this repentance, and placing of trust is genuine, then remarkably, mouth shutting awe awaits, as we begin to comprehend that we are indeed children of God!  Co-inheritors with our Elder Brother, Jesus Christ, and we wait, groaning with all creation, for what lies ahead.

I am still that little boy sitting on the bench.  The difference is, I am no longer staring into space.  I am dreaming of what life will be like, in heaven, with my heavenly Father.

I am no longer an "orphan", but a child of a great King, with an incredible inheritance awaiting!

Do you believe that, dear reader?  Have you taken time to get to know your heavenly Father?

I highly recommend reading my series on Sinclair Ferguson's "Children of the Living God".

American Idol's Scott MacIntrye to give free concert at Scottsdale Bible Church

Top 8 American Idol, Scott MacIntrye, will be giving a free concert at Scottsdale Bible Church.

Scott desires to give back to his home church, share his testimony, and talk about his incredible journey on American Idol.

The free concert will be on Saturday, May 9th, at 7:00 in the church's main worship center.

If you happen to be in the Scottsdale area, please stop by, all are welcome.

Andrew Murray's "Waiting on God" (Day 1)

"Psalm 62:1", by Lisa Turnquist

Psalm 62:1 - For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.

This post is part of my 31 day journey through Andrew Murray's devotional treatise, "Waiting on God".  You can find my reasons for this journey at this link.

Day #1 - The God of our Salvation

When God made Adam & Eve, they were completely, and utterly dependent upon God.  God provided for them a world that gave them everything they needed, and remarkably God was also in their presence.

After the fall, man was even more dependent upon God, if it is possible to be more than utterly dependent.  Why?  Because now man was completely, and utterly dependent upon God for salvation. 

Andrew Murray wants us to understand that in both of these cases, there is nothing that we can do, in our own power.

Therefore, Andrew Murray concludes, with our prideful fallen natures, we are blind to our complete helplessness.  After the fall, we are dead, and without God drawing us near, we remain that way for all eternity.

We fail to wait upon the Lord, because we have an improper view of his holiness.

From Murray:

"It is only because Christians do not know in their relation to God of their own absolute poverty and helplessness that they have no sense of the need of absolute and unceasing dependence, or of the unspeakable blessedness of continual waiting on God.  But when once a believer begins to see it, and consent to it, that he by the Holy Spirit must each moment receive what God each moment works, waiting on god becomes his brightest hope and joy.  As he appreciates how God, as Infinite Love, delights to impart His own nature to His child as fully as He can, how God is not weary of each moment keeping charge of his life and strength, he wonders that he ever thought otherwise of God than as a God to be waited on all the day.  God unceasingly giving and working; His child unceasingly waiting and receiving;  this is the blessed life."

Absolute Poverty ---->Absolute Dependence ---->Unspeakable Blessedness of Continual Waiting on God!

Post-modernity abhors the idea of absolute poverty, and helplessness.  After all, our ancestors were the builders of the Tower of Babel. 

I must admit that I can intellectually ascribe to this absolute poverty, but upon my great shame, I don't live it.  Daily I stand before God and seek my own prideful way.

King David consistently talked, out loud to his soul, in the Psalms.  Murray end that chapter with this:

"My soul, wait only upon God!"

I can clearly see that I will need to develop the habit of commanding my soul of this behavior.

How about you?  Can you wear absolute poverty, and dependence?

Entering Foresummer in the High Sonoran Desert of Scottsdale, Arizona

Believe it or not, this is a cactus flower that I shot last year, about this time.  It never ceases to amaze me, the beauty that comes from such seemingly ugly, and thorny plant life.

When we moved to Arizona, about 2 1/2 years ago, we learned that the arid Sonoran desert has 5 seasons:  winter, spring, foresummer (hot & dry), summer (monsoons, hot & humid), fall, and winter.

We are currently moving into the foresummer period, which generally takes place in May & June.

During these months, we will generally see temperatures climb well into the 100's, and see humidity levels down around 10%.

This is perhaps the most difficult season for nature to endure, until the rains of the monsoon season start in July.

However, God's gift to us, during this season, is that the succulents will all now bloom.

What an amazing place this desert is.  What a place of striking contrasts.  What a wonderful place God has provided for us to live!

Dr. John Frame tackles my question on Imprecatory Psalms

 

A few days ago, I was doing my annual reading plan, through my ESV Study Bible, when I happened across Psalm 109, an imprecatory Psalm, where a sufferer calls down curses upon his oppressor.

I was taken back by this.  These were not nice curses.  They were things like:  I hope you die, I hope your children become orphans, and your wife a widow.  I pray that God would blot out your name, and on, and on!

These were the sufferers prayers to God!

Feeling a little lost in my understanding of this Psalm, I reached out to a few theologians.  Dr. John Frame, Professor of Systematic Theology and Philosophy, at Reformed Theological Seminary was kind enough to respond.  Here is his response:

"I took my best shot at answering this question in http://www.frame-poythress.org/frame_articles/1993More.htm. Certainly this is a difficult question, and I don't think that I have given a fully adequate response to it."

I highly recommend you give his link a click, and read this thoughts on Imprecations.  Here are his closing thoughts from the article:

"It is possible to have a godly hatred and a godly love toward the same person, paradoxical as that seems. We today may be called to cry for divine justice: against abortionists and abortion advocates, against homosexual militants who try to destroy the church's freedom to proclaim God's word, against the remaining anti-Christian dictators of the world. We crave great historical signs of God's displeasure with injustice. That desire is quite legitimate. And if God pleases instead to rebuke these movements by sending revival and converting the hearts of His enemies, our desire for divine judgment will be completely fulfilled. But in our cry for divine justice, the imprecatory Psalms will rightly guide our prayers."

Thank you Dr. Frame!  You bring more clarity to a difficult, and clearly paradoxical question.

Andrew Murray's "Waiting on God" (Preface)

It would seem that a great deal of my study, during the past year, has been from the words of dead guys. 

I can recall A.W. Pink, Jonathan Edwards, William Wilberforce, John Calvin, to name a few.

As I mentioned yesterday, I am about to journey on a 32 day reading of Andrew Murray's, "Waiting on God".

Andrew Murray was a pastor/author, from South Africa, in the Dutch Reformed Church.  He lived from 1828, until he reached 88 years old in 1917.  Here is a little more biographical information, from Calvin College's "Christian Classics Ethereal Library".

Andrew Murray shares in his preface, that more than half of these 31 meditations, were written on board a ship, traveling between South Africa, and England.

Murray shares why he wrote this particular set of meditations:  "Previous to my leaving for England last year, I had been much impressed by the thought of how, in all our religion, personal and public, we need more of God.  I had felt that we needed to train our people in their worship more to wait on God, and to make the cultivation of a deeper sense of His presence - of more direct contact with Him, of entire dependence on Him - a definite aim of our ministry."

Murray further goes on to say:

"But what I want to say here is this:  The great lack of our religion is, we do not know God.  The answer to every complaint of feebleness and failure, the message to every congregation or convention seeking instruction on holiness, out to be simply:  'What is the matter?  Have you not God?  If you really believe in God, He will put all right.  God is willing and able by His Holy Spirit.  Cease from expecting the least good from yourself, or the least help from anything there is in man, and just yield yourself unreservedly to God to work in you.  He will do all for you.' "

Finally, Andrew Murray quotes a keynote struck from the first Keswick Convention in 1875:

"My Soul!  Wait only upon God, for my expectation is from Him"

I am looking forward to this journey.  I hope that you will come along, and share in my discoveries.

Andrew Murray's "Waiting on God"

I don't know about you, but I absolutely hate waiting. 

When I was in college, I did a lot of solo vocal work, and the waiting before my performances was absolute misery to me.

That period of waiting, in fact, was so miserable for me, that I would quite often get sick, as I worked myself into a frenzy. 

What if I forget my words?  What if my fly is open?  What if the sound system doesn't work?  What if the people hate my singing?

What if?  What if? What if?

This whole "what if?" syndrome eventually turned into a season of panic attacks back in the early 90's, as my wife and I were starting our business.

Eventually, I worked my way through that faulty thinking, but the loathing of waiting remains.

Guess what?  It would seem that God would like to teach me to wait...UGH...OK...I am willing to learn to wait upon God.  After all, when God knocked Paul off his horse, it was three years before he was back in the saddle, so to speak.

Abba, its been three years for me too! 

I was sharing with my pastor, Jamie Rasmussen, the other day how God seems to be saying, "wait",  to me all the time.  I was telling him how nothing I do, seems to find the wind in my sails.  "I am not accustomed to this", I was bemoaning.

In less than a millisecond, he recommended Andrew Murray's, "Waiting on God".

So, Mr. John Calvin, your "Institutes of the Christian Religion" are going to take a back seat to Mr. Murray for the next 31 days, as I seek to learn to...well...wait.

This should be interesting!

Arizona Desert Hedgehog longing for Christ's Return

Carol and I were hiking in the mountains yesterday, on the Overton Trail, in the Cave Creek Recreational Park.  Most of the spring flowers have done their dance, and now it is time for the succulents to have their day in the sun.

One of the things that strikes me about Arizona flora is the consistent contrast of beauty and pain.  The flowers above belong to a Hedgehog that I photographed last year. 

The Scriptures tells us that creation groans, under its fallen and cursed state, waiting for the return of the Lord, the resurrection of God's children, along with a return of the earth to its previous glory.

When I look at this plant, I wonder, what were you like before the curse?  Are you sad?  There you are, beautiful, yet if anyone gets close, you bring them pain in your fallen state.

Do you long for Christ's return like the Hedgehog?

When Christians are attacked, are we to call for a curse of God?

As I continue my journey through my ESV Study Bible, I was surprised by Psalm 109.

Once again, it confirms to me that I can not know God without reading his whole word, cover to cover.

Have you ever been wronged?  Worse yet, have you ever been wronged by a professing Christian?

In this Psalm, we see an innocent sufferer, clearly being wronged by an oppressor.

The surprising thing is that he calls upon God to curse the man with things such as:  appoint a wicked man against him, when he is tried, let him be found guilty, may his days be few, may another take his office, may his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow!  Surprisingly, the asked for curses don't stop there!